bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize