I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
