I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
