I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
there is puke in my bra ... again
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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