walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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