census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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