He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
