yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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