1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
