bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
