'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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