What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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