I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
