Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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