If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
