I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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