Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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