She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
