GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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