i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
