you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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