I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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