I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
