It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
