She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
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Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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