I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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