I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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