god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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