Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
