Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
