do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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