he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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