but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
