And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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