Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.