She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
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he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
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Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.