Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright