Small penises have feelings too.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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