sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just had sex bonerless
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
