I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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