so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
