If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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