I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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