she was so not down for the gang bang
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
