bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
