i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
