I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
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No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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