weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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