i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The adults are the big ones right?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
