just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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