; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
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Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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