SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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