He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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