Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
