dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
