what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
ttyl tear gas
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
