what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
