Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize