sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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