Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
