No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize