The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
