Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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