Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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