i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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