The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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