im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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