Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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