well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
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Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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